Hi, hello, I’m sure you’ve seen this tag around and if not, maybe you’ve seen us yell about it on Twitter because that’s something we tend to do and also this entire experience has been intense. The original video of what this is all about can be found here. Most people seem to use a random generator to decide on the three books they either burn, rewrite, or reread, but since there are multiple people on this blog, we decided it might be fun if we chose these books for each other. Well. That was fun for about five seconds and then the yelling started.
Full disclaimer: No books were hurt in the making of this post. We would never burn any of these books, obviously, because they are the best and we want to reread all of them. Our relationship, however, has been forever changed for the worst. We will never trust each other again. Oh, the things we do for content…
Ellice asks: If You Find Me by Emily Murdoch, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J.K. Rowling or My Life Next Door by Huntley Fitzpatrick?
Ellice, how dare you betray me like this? I thought you were the nice one. That whole sweet animal-loving Southern girl is all a trick, apparently. This puts things in perspective. Anyway, did I say how dare you yet? It’s obvious that these are three of my favorite books of all time. If You Find Me is very special to me, because it’s such a quiet but impressive read, and My Life Next Door is one of my favorite contemporaries ever, with some of my favorite ever characters. And I mean, I’m not even going to talk about Harry Potter. You all know what’s up with that. Dammit. Okay, here we go:
Burn: I would technically reread Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows over and over and over again. It is by far my favorite book of these three. I know some people had issues with this final book and some didn’t like the epilogue, but I think all Harry Potter books are flawless and one does not simply mess with this series, okay? This series has been the biggest influence on who I am today and it will forever be my favorite series of all time. And yet, I would also want to rewrite (read: edit out) one particular character death in this book, because it hurts me the most and I will never accept it. View Spoiler »YOU CANNOT SEPARATE THE WEASLEY TWINS, J.K. ROWLING, HOW DARE YOU HURT ME LIKE THIS. « Hide Spoiler But really, I would burn this book, because it is made of magic and cannot be destructed by something as common as fire, and I WOULDN’T ACTUALLY BURN IT. This plan is foolproof.
Rewrite: I would rewrite If You Find Me because even though I think it’s absolutely fantastic, I would edit out the romance, because I don’t think it’s necessary for the story and it’s the only minor, minor issue I had while reading this story. It’s a story about two young girls finally finding a place to call home, and I just didn’t think the boy fit in it. Otherwise, this story was flawless.
Reread: My Life Next Door, which I have already read twice since I first read it in 2013 (?) and I just can’t get enough of it. The Garretts are fantastic, the romance is the cutest, and the entire book just makes me feel so at home. If you’d asked me this question before my first reread, I would have rewritten out some of the drama that happens towards the end, but on my second read, I realized that it actually really fit the story, and I wouldn’t change a thing now. Or perhaps make Sam’s best friend stop acting like such a bitch, but whatever. At least Tim is fantastic.
Ellis asks: The Crown of Embers by Rae Carson, Heir of Fire by Sarah J. Maas (you did this to yourself) or Saving Francesca by Melina Marchetta?
What the fuck, Ellis. (Jsyk: her original question included Second Chance Summer by Morgan Matson instead of Heir of Fire, but because she knows how much that book means to me, she changed it.) This is the actual worst, because all three of these books were such incredibly formative books for me, though admittedly Heir of Fire and Saving Francesca a little more than The Crown of Embers, because Celaena Sardothien is my true queen, and Frankie’s life is so close to my own. But then again, Elisa is flawless and Elisa and Hector are one of the few OTPs I have. Dammit.
Burn: Ellis’s face. Also, I will burn Saving Francesca because a) it’s Ellis’s favorite book of these three** and b) all the available covers are terrible and don’t do the book justice at all. I will have the publisher re-publish it and have Meg design a new cover for it because she’s so talented it’s insane, and we will all live happily ever after.
Rewrite: The Crown of Embers. But only because I have to put this somewhere and it’s not quite at Heir of Fire level and it has a more decent cover than Saving Francesca. Seriously though, this book is amazing. It is my favorite book of the series, even though the third comes very close. I must reread this series soon. (Sidenote from Ellis: I know the second one is your favourite of the series, which is why I picked it instead of The Bitter Kingdom. I’m not sorry.)
Reread: Heir of Fire. At first I jokingly said that I was going to rewrite Heir of Fire but I can’t do it guys, this book is too perfect. Although maybe I should have just done it to edit out some Chaol scenes. No, it’s still perfect. It’s so perfect it can’t be burned, much like Harry Potter, so Ellis, good luck trying to burn this book when it’s your turn.
Disclaimer: I can’t take this tag seriously, so none of my answers are serious, obviously. Except for me wanting to burn my cobloggers instead because HOW DARE YOU.
** WTF?? DON’T BE SO CRUEL WOMAN.
Ellis asks: I’ll Meet You There by Heather Demetrios, Something Like Normal by Trish Doller or Girl Before a Mirror by Liza Palmer?
Okay, Ellis, I fully intended to play nice until I saw which books you chose for me. YOU EVIL COBLOGGER. You KNOW how much I love these three books.
Burn: Daughter of Smoke and Bone. THAT’S RIGHT ELLIS.** Don’t mess with my precious babies. I’ll burn your precious Liraz. ;) Sigh. Fine, because I KNOW you’ll fuss at me for not choosing one of the three you gave me (damn you), Something Like Normal. You SUCK, Ellis. I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU. I burn this one only because I’ll immediately go to the bookstore and buy 10 more copies. SO THERE.
Rewrite: Ellis’s choices for me. I DON’T WANT TO REWRITE ANYTHING ABOUT THESE BOOKS. THEY ARE PERFECT. Fine. I’ll change the “a” to “the” in the title of Girl Before a Mirror—> Girl Before the Mirror. That’s ALL I would ever rewrite about Liza Palmer’s amazing book. :D
Reread: I’ll Meet You There. I’m so in love with this book I can’t even. Ellis knows my love for it, and she is EVIL for including it in this list. I will never harm my babies. Skylar and Josh have already been through too much. They need to live happily ever after. :D
** WHO THE HELL BURNS A BOOK THAT ISN’T EVEN ON THEIR LIST. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, ELLICE.
Judith asks: How to Love by Katie Cotugno, Nowhere But Home by Liza Palmer or The One Plus One by Jojo Moyes?
Dammit Judith, WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS? I’m pretty sure I got the worst end of this deal. Liza Palmer, Jojo Moyes AND Katie Cotugno? Just rip my heart right out of my chest, why don’t you?! *sobs*
(J & E: She totally did. It was vair amusing.)
Burn: None of them– I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE! Better yet, I volunteer JUDITH. DAMN YOU. Fine. *grumbles* How to Love. *snatches it out of the flames and runs away*
Rewrite: One Plus One, which is already perfect. But 1) there is a heart-wrenching scene in this book in which a dog gets hurt and I would rewrite that so that it didn’t happen AT ALL (though Jojo discussed this at a Nashville event that I attended, and View Spoiler » she originally intended to kill the dog. Thank goodness she had a change of heart!!! « Hide Spoiler), and 2) the other book that my coblogger so HORRIBLY put on this list contains my future husband, so I could never pick against him.
Reread: ALL OF THEM. *pets my beautiful books* But I have to say Nowhere But Home. Everett has my heart. Cal is a doll. Queenie and Merry Carole share a sisterly bond that I admire so much. I’ve been dying to reread this book since I first read it in 2013. <3
Judith asks: Quintana of Charyn by Melina Marchetta, The Year of Secret Assignments by Jaclyn Moriarty or The Piper’s Son by Melina?
I hereby hand in my letter of resignation and quit the Paper Riot team. I remember when Ellice saw this and was like “we don’t accept your resignation.” WELL. Do you still feel that way hmm hmmm.
Burn: The Year of Secrets Assignments because it deserves a cover that is worthy of its awesome. The Aussie one is fine and I am attached to the strawberry on a hot pink background for reasons, but the US cover is horrendous and I doubt it will make anyone excited to pick up this book. Bonus: if it gets a new cover, it will be re-released and PHYSICAL COPIES will finally be easily available. Ideally, I would also go with the Meg-please-inject-your-unicorn-skills-here redesign plan but she likes to read books first before she designs the covers (solid plan tbh) and this one suffers a case of tragic general unavailability. Do you see my problem.
Rewrite: The Piper’s Son. Let it be known that Judith originally wanted me to decide on Heir of Fire instead, but then I told her what I’d do to it. So. Get ready for the list of options I think about on an almost
hourly daily basis. Saving Francesca is my favourite of the two, but I’ve always said I would probably love The Piper’s Son even more (than I do now and also than Saving Francesca) if it had been told through Tara’s POV. I don’t think I’d want alternating Tom/Tara POV, though. And I can’t even imagine not having Tom POV. THIS IS SO HARD. But: add Tara POV would be my first go-to. Okay. Strangely, I don’t particularly need all that many extra Tom/Tara moments THOUGH A BIT MORE RESOLUTION WOULD HAVE BEEN VERY APPRECIATED, MELINA. (I should at one point quit this habit of yelling at my favourite author. Probably.) I do have this running headcanon that after the events of The Piper’s Son, when Tom is still off with his father and grandfather, there’s this moment when Tara and Frankie are hanging out and Tara thanks Francesca for taking care of Tom and getting him back when she couldn’t because OT3 MOMENTS THAT SHOULD BE REFERRED TO AS OT3 MEMORIES and also Tara is emotionally compromised enough for this to be hilariously awkward.
Since a few days ago I also need this to happen:
Third headcanon: flashback to the night at the party in Saving Francesca when Tara was consoling Siobhan (canon), which ended in them kissing (should-have-been-canon). Polyamory situations with the whole Sebastian gang. You know Justine’s good for it. Plus, I’m not entirely convinced they’re not already there, especially Tom, who canonically has a crush on all of them BUT IT IS TARA WHO MAKES HIS HEART BEAT FAST. Ahem. General note: more Tara, more Siobhan, more Jimmy, more late night phone calls, A TARA BOOK, A SIOBHAN BOOK, AN ANABEL BOOK, A JIMMY BOOK. And it’s not like these all need to be separate possibilities.
Reread: Quintana of Charyn. Reread reread reread. I was sure I had at least some (minor, very, very minor) things I’d want to change, but I just checked my notes and nope. The only thing I’d want to rewrite is that outrageous part of the US blurb that calls this book the final instalment in the trilogy because I’M KEEPING THE HOPE FOR PHAEDRA OF THE VALLEY (THE LUMATERE CHRONICLES #4) ALIVE. FIGHT THE POWER.
Ellice asks: Daughter of Smoke and Bone by Laini Taylor (you know I had to!), Grave Mercy by Robin LaFevers or Heir of Fire by Sarah J. Maas?
Well. WELL. Looks like I’m going to have to cheat my way out of this one, too.
Burn: Heir of Fire. AND CELAENA WILL RISE FROM THE ASHES AND SET ELLICE ON FIRE. AGAIN. AND SHE FULLY DESERVES IT. Also, this will hurt Judith slightly more than it hurts me so she’ll be on my side when I burn Ellice in retaliation. If she doesn’t light me on fire first. But can we just take a moment to think about the fact that after Judith took this book out because she knew it would come to this, Ellice put it back in the running? What kind of monster does that?? Also, Heir of Fire is kind of indestructible due to all the layers of awesome it’s built of.
Rewrite: Grave Mercy. Not that I don’t like Ismae and Duval together but I would be lying if I said part of me wasn’t hoping for the darkest timeline option here. As in: she should have completed her task and killed him. And then the abbess of St. Mortain because seriously can she just not be a thing at all. Followed by some Ismae-Sybella-Annith-going-rogue adventures. (I’m trying really hard to seem unaffected by these terrible, cruel choices because what. the. hell. Ellice.)
Reread: Daughter of Smoke and Bone, partly because I want to stick it to Ellice, who is a disgrace and really, really, really wants me to burn this one. HA. YOU FAILED. In truth, I would have switched my answers for Grave Mercy and Daughter of Smoke and Bone and rewritten the massive flashback sequence. I would have spaced it out a bit more and also why? was? everyone? so? in? love? with? Madrigal??? MORE LIRAZ, LESS AKIVA. (I’m sorry, dude, but I was not your biggest fan in that first book.) But let’s go with reread so I can overanalyse the disgracefully few moments Liraz has, and also because I love this series. Probably should have led with that.
Since we’re nice people and refuse to be the only blog that goes to war (with themselves and each other) over this RIDICULOUS tag, we also tag the following people:
- Meg, Steph and Kat from Cuddlebuggery
- Mel, Celine, and Larissa from YA Midnight Reads
- Jessie and Danielle from Ageless Pages Reviews
- Sana from Artsy Musings of a Bibliophile (Ellis volunteers as book-picker, in case you’re interested)
And everyone else who wants to do this: consider yourself tagged!